Hanzo! I Kirr You!
by Uchiha Hanzo
Summary: Years after the events of the Naruto Series, Sasuke and Sakura live in Otogakure, with their son Hanzo. Now his training has been left in the hands of Hatake Kakashi in Konohagakure. This is his story. Original and Official Characters included.
1. Fortunate Son

HANZO!!! I Kirr you!

Naruto Second Generation

Hanzo is the son of Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Haruno Sakura. While he has inherited attributes of both his mother and father he takes his appearance from his mother Sakura. Hanzo grew up in Otogakure, Hidden Sound Village. Hanzo had the best education in the ninja arts, due to the fact that his father is the second Otokage, Sound Shadow, following Orochimaru. Because of this he managed to master the Uchiha clan's Doujutsu and Kekkei Genkai, Sharingan. Though he has not acquired the Mangekyo Sharingan he does have the ability to use a watered-down version of the Tsukuyomi. When Hanzo was twelve he joined his parents for a trip to Konohagakure, Hidden Leaf Village. Sasuke brought Hanzo here for one purpose, to train with Hatake Kakashi, so that within one year of training within Konoha he could become a Jonin. During his training with Kakashi, Hanzo met Uzumaki Kotaro, son of the Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto. Kotaro's skill is limited in comparison to Hanzo's, even though he is also the son of a Kage. It is at this time when Naruto suggests that Kotaro train with Hanzo to increase his skill.

The day after Hanzo passed the Chuunin exam, he, along with his parents journeyed to Konoha. Sasuke and Sakura told him it was so that they may visit their old home and friends. Upon entering the village they were met by Naruto, Hokage, and the Jonin, Kakashi.

Naruto: Sasuke! Sakura! It's so good to see you both!

Sasuke: It's good to see you haven't changed Naruto, still as loud as ever.

Naruto's eyes squint and he crosses his arms.

Naruto: You're always talking me down Sasuke!

An annoyed look comes over Sakura's face and she strikes Sasuke on the top of the head leaving a lump.

Sakura: Sasuke, we're not in Otogakure Naruto is the leader here show him some respect.

(To Naruto) as you can see he hasn't changed a bit.

Naruto: so is this Hanzo? Wow Sakura, he looks just like you!

Hanzo looks at Naruto and an unimpressed look comes over his eyes and a smirk on his mouth. He points at Naruto and addresses his parents.

Hanzo: So you mean to tell me that this dipshit is the leader of this entire village?

Naruto displays an SD facial expression with wide blank eyes.

Naruto: Whaaaaaat!?

Sakura strikes her son in the same manner that she did her husband. And an apologetic look comes across her face. Kakashi laughs.

Kakashi: I can see he inherited Sasuke's sunny disposition.

Hanzo: who's this clown?

This earns him another lump.

Sasuke: This was our teacher, when the three of us were children, and he'll be teaching you for the next year so that you may be prepared to become a Jonin and perhaps even become an ANBU operative.

Hanzo: How am I supposed to master my Sharingan completely without another Uchiha

to teach me how to use it?

Kakashi sits back on his haunches so that he may look Hanzo in the eye

Kakashi: Well I think you'll find I'm surprisingly qualified for that job.

Kakashi removes his headband showing his Sharingan. Hanzo is initially shocked, but quickly grins.

Hanzo: I see, I think I might enjoy this year.

The three successors of the Sannin enter the office of the Rokudaime, Sakura looks around nostalgically.

Sakura: It must be nice to finally be sitting on the other side of that desk

Naruto smiles widely, squinting his eyes and chuckles as he runs his index finger under his nose. Sasuke runs his fingers over the desk and looks out the window as his son walks out of sight with Kakashi.

Sasuke: So it is alright that we leave Hanzo here with Kakashi for the next year. I don't want him to be a burden on anyone.

Naruto: He won't be. Why exactly is it that you wanted him to train with Kakashi so badly?

Sakura: Sasuke wants him to train with someone who has been in ANBU.

Sakura interrupted and Sasuke looking slightly annoyed continued.

Sasuke: Kakashi is also skilled with his Sharingan, I want him to learn how to use it from someone other than myself, and Kakashi is the only one left.

Naruto: We will treat him like one of our own.

ELSWHERE…

Kakashi brought Hanzo to the training field. The Sakura trees in full bloom and the three wooden stumps still in the same places they have always been. Hanzo looked around with a bored look on his face.

Hanzo: So what are you going to teach me here? Hopefully some Taijutsu, my repertoire is lacking in that department.

Kakashi's exposed eye rolled, he reached into his shuriken pouch and pulled out, two bells.

Kakashi: I usually do this exercise with three students, but as you can see, I don't take on squads anymore, you are my only student. The purpose of this test is usually to see how well you work in a group, but this time I just want to see whether or not you can take this one bell from me by lunch.

Hanzo begins to laugh, and activates his Sharingan.

Hanzo: You'd best uncover your good eye if you want to keep me from getting that bell!

Kakashi: I'll take my chances for now. If you intend on taking this bell from me come at me as if you were going to kill me.

Hanzo's eyes narrow and he smirks.

Hanzo: I intend to Kakashi-sensei, don't worry about that.

Hanzo disappears from sight and reappears behind Kakashi and throws a kick, Kakashi turns into a log ala substitution jutsu. Hanzo hears a rumbling under his feet and jumps narrowly avoiding Kakashi's headhunter jutsu.

Kakashi: Not bad, those Sharingan aren't wasted on you it seems. But how will you deal with this!

A shadow clone grabs Hanzo from behind and Kakashi performs a Water Dragon Missile Jutsu. A kunai with an explosive tag broke through the water decimating a Sakura tree when it exploded. Kakashi landed and the water cleared unveiling a drenched Hanzo imitating the hand signs Kakashi just used exactly. A good natured smirk came to Hanzo's face. And he sadistically chanted.

Hanzo: Water… Dragon… Missile…

The jutsu began, but as the water dragon approached Kakashi, Hanzo leapt forth from the mouth grabbing at the bell only to narrowly miss when Kakashi's mud wall jutsu sprouted up from the ground sending Hanzo into the sky.

Kakashi: He's better than Sasuke ever thought about being at this age.

Hanzo: I'm better than a lot of people…

Kakashi's eye widened as he realized that Hanzo had appeared right behind him. He ducked avoiding having the bell stolen and sweep kicked Hanzo's legs allowing him to escape to a safe distance. Kakashi was still within Hanzo's field of field of vision.

Kakashi: I can't avoid it any longer…

Kakashi unveiled his Left eye. Seeing this Hanzo knew the real battle was about to begin. He charged Kakashi and began executing hand seals.

Hanzo: Tora, Uma, Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!

Fire began spouting from his mouth, but he was running low on chakra and fell to his knees. Kakashi let out a sigh of relief and covered his Sharingan again.

Kakashi: Not bad, I'll give you lunch for working me so hard, but until you can get the bell we will not train in any other manner. After lunch you should go to the village gate to see your parents off, it will be a year before you see them again.

Kakashi handed Hanzo a bento and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Hanzo panted for a few seconds and opened his bento.

Hanzo: He's… too good… I don't…think…I can…get…that bell…by myself.

He began eating his lunch sitting against one of the three stumps, looking up into the sky.

To Be Continued…


	2. Warriors of Bedlam

3

So anyway, I know I didn't inspire any witty banter last time, but hey, It's my first published Fanfic. I was so excited about this chapter that I had to release it within less than 24 hours of the first chapter. I think you'll like it.

Chapter 2

Hanzo & Kotaro: Warriors of Bedlam

After Hanzo finished his lunch he meandered over to the village gate. His mother and father were saying their goodbyes to Naruto and several other Konoha residents. Hanzo Crept up on the senior Nins, only being noticed once he was just beyond their circle. Ino was the first to comment.

Ino: Sakura, I thought you told me that you had a son. She's beautiful, and looks just like you.

Hanzo's face grew red with a mix of embarrassment and anger and Sakura stood waving her arms in the background trying to signal to Hanzo not to say anything. Unfortunately it was to no avail. Nothing was going to stop the injured Hanzo from defending his pride. Sasuke knew what was coming, but made no effort to prevent the coming retaliation of his son, simply smirking at the thought of what was to come. Hanzo composed himself and calmly explained.

Hanzo: I am a boy… you old Hag.

Ino's smile lingered for a few moments as Hanzo's comment sunk in. Then very suddenly she snapped having to be held back by her peers.

Ino: You little bastard who do think you are? I don't care if you are Sasuke-kun's kid, I'm still gonna kick your ass! Like mother like D-A-U-G-H-T-E-R!

Hanzo grinned cruelly, he had found her weak spot she was sensitive about her beauty and youth. Now all he had to do was exploit that weakness.

Hanzo: My gender aside, you're just jealous that I'm younger and more beautiful than you are or ever were.

Ino: Whaaaaat!?

Rock Lee and Choji could barely hold her back as she kicked and screamed. She calmed down after Sakura whapped him over the head. The ever childish Ino stuck out her tongue at the freshly scolded youth. Soon the two Uchihas were off back to Otogakure, leaving behind their son for the next year.

In the office of the Rokudaime Naruto began considering what he had seen the day before during the training he had seen. He remembered his own bell test.

Naruto: None of us could have even imagined getting that close to those bells. Perhaps…

Hanzo was out of breath, he still couldn't reach the bells. Closer and closer with each try, however he could never get close enough. Kakashi was too good. His years of experience trumped Hanzo's raw talent any day. Hanzo began performing hand seals but was interrupted by a voice just beyond the horizon.

Voice: Kakashi-sempai!

Hanzo stopped and his left eyebrow arched in query. Kakashi turned in the direction that the voice was coming from.

Kakashi: Naruto can't be serious. He's way out of his league here.

His shock was evident in his voice,

Hanzo: Kakashi-sensei, who is that?

The owner of the voice emerged and entered into the fields of vision of Hanzo and Kakashi, He was a young boy who looked like a certain other fox-boy with whom we should all be familiar. His spiky blond locks had slight tinges of black scattered throughout, unlike Hanzo's solid pink hair, which he wore like his father though his headband was worn in a fashion similar to that of his mother. The blond lad's crimson red jacket with a popped collar and matching red pants proved as the perfect foil for Hanzo's navy blue sleeveless cheongsam with the Uchiha crest emblazoned on the back.

Hanzo: Who's this tool?

Before Kakashi could answer the blond youth was within ear shot and was less than pleased with what he heard.

Kotaro: I'm Uzumaki Kotaro and if you're Uchiha Hanzo, then that makes us partners.

Hanzo was naturally shocked, and Kakashi was obviously upset at what he was hearing as well.

Kakashi: I can't believe this; Naruto must have lost his mind.

Hanzo: N-Naruto! As in the Hokage!?

Kotaro: That's right he's my father. And he wanted me to train with you to sharpen my skills. And I guess that means I have to call you Kakashi-sensei from now on.

Kakashi: I know Naruto thinks he can do anything, but Hanzo is far beyond your skill level, getting beat by such a wide margin won't teach you anything.

Kotaro: Well dad would seem to disagree. So what's today's training?

Hanzo looked at Kakashi his expression asking if this was just a joke, but Kakashi shook his head and began explaining.

The bell training had resumed and Hanzo was in a foul mood. He knew that the training had a new objective now, teamwork. Kakashi had slipped that the first time they had met for this training, but Kotaro disappeared on his own and Hanzo was biding his time, waiting to strike from the shadows. Kagemusha, shadow warrior, which was what he must be. Then he saw Kotaro appear before Kakashi. Hanzo didn't believe what he was seeing, he couldn't be that stupid.

Kotaro: Oi! I'm going to take that bell damn it!

Kakashi laughed and wiped a tear from his eye.

Kakashi: Where have I seen this before?

Hanzo wasn't at all interested in how bad he was about to get beat, but he was torn between helping him so that they may work together, building trust and eventually getting the bells. Or he could let Kotaro get beat so that he could learn his lesson and then Hanzo would help him up and following a short lecture they could pull together and get those damn bells. Kotaro threw shuriken at Kakashi only for them to hit a log. Hanzo knew were Kakashi was, but Kotaro was clueless. The former choice won out.

Hanzo: Kotaro, jump! He's underneath you!

Kotaro leapt to the left, but nothing happened. Kakashi appeared behind Hanzo. He wheeled around, striking at Kakashi with a back fist only to have it blocked. He punched at Kakashi's gut with his free hand but that was blocked as well.

Kakashi: It would seem that you gave away your location in order to save your comrade, while it's commendable the lessons in this for you and him are different. He is a mediocre ninja; he will at best be a Jonin at an average age. You, however, are trying to become an ANBU operative. And your missions are borderline impossible. You will have no one but yourself, and you were just caught.

Hanzo: No Kakashi-sensei you were just caught. You were ours the moment you looked into my eyes. Release!

The Genjutsu he had cast dissipated leaving him tied to one of the three stumps facing Hanzo and Kotaro. Both of whom were holding bells.

Kakashi: So sending Kotaro out to face me like that was a trap, and you gave your position away on purpose? But when, when did you make this plan?

Kotaro: The moment you gave in and decided I would be taking part in this training Hanzo cast a Genjutsu over me with his Sharingan and told me his plan.

An impressed look could be seen in Kakashi's eyes, and he lowered his head.

Kakashi: Good work, it would seem you both learned something important from this lesson. The real training starts tomorrow. For now let's go home and get some rest!

Kotaro and Hanzo began walking off back towards the village leaving Kakashi tied to the stump.

Kakashi: Hey! You two get back here and untie me! Hanzo!!! I Kirr you!

This would not be the last time Hanzo heard this angered Engrish phrase. But for now he was just happy to have his bell, so that he could continue his training and soon become a Jonin.

To Be Continued…

So... Pretty good right. Eh... Eh... Yeah I thought so. Please review. Arigato!


	3. Things Get Heated at the Hot Springs

Well for any of you who have been reading I have two things to say. 1. This will be my last update for about a week as I'll be out of town. 2. Bad! Bad Readers! I've yet to see any reviews. Please review the story thus far. You have my gratitude.

Chapter 3

Things are Getting Heated at the Hot Springs

After being in Konoha for a week Hanzo decided to tour the village after training one day. Up until that point he had neglected see the area because he had been so engrossed in his training that he would continue training after Kakashi dismissed them. He was walking by Ichiraku when he was stopped by a busty young lady wearing a tight black leather jacket that didn't cover her entire torso. The jacket had black fur along the collar and cuffs of the sleeves. She wore a skirt that was similar in design to Hanzo's outfit, only grey. Her uncovered body was wrapped in a sarashi from her knees and up beneath her jacket and up to her neck. Her hands were also wrapped.

Young Girl: Hi! I've never seen you around here before. Where are you from?

A flush Hanzo began to stammer, lowering his head a little. The young lady looked at his headband.

Young Girl: Oh you're from Otogakure? What are you doing in Konoha?

Hanzo: Oh I'm here to train with Hatake Kakashi for the next year.

Hanzo's reply was in a very demure tone of voice.

Young Girl: I'm Kimiko… Inuzuka Kimiko.

She swished her blonde hair as she spoke. She was obviously very impressed with herself and her looks. Hanzo arched his eyebrow slightly. Her demeanor was similar to someone he had met recently, but he couldn't pinpoint who. Her smile wasn't familiar she had small fangs and he couldn't tell by the face as she had tribal markings. But his eyes kept coming back to the blond hair.

Hanzo: Nice to meet you Inuzuka-chan, I'm called Hanzo.

Kimiko: You don't have to be so formal Kimiko is fine.

Hanzo: Very well Kimiko-chan.

Kimiko: You look like you've been training very hard Hanzo-chan, perhaps you should relax, come with me!

Kimiko grabbed Hanzo by the wrist and pulled him along with her. They stopped outside the Konoha Hot Springs.

Kimiko: Come on this is the best place to relax!

Hanzo: Wait I don't think you understa…

This was certain to end badly. She hurried them inside the bath house and began undressing. Hanzo tried to stop her but she didn't listen

Kimiko: What kind of girl doesn't enjoy a nice outdoor Hot spring?

Kimiko's tone was seductive. She began undressing Hanzo but stopped suddenly and turned very red.

Hanzo: That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm a b…

Hanzo was interrupted by a loud scream from Kimiko.

Kimiko: You're a boy! You Pervert!... All boys are perverts!

Hanzo: (Wait, I know that scowl. She's… She's Ino-bachan's daughter!) Oh no this is bad, very, very bad!

Kimiko: Damn right, this is bad you pervert!

The naked Kimiko shook her clenched fist in the air, and swung knocking him through the door into the street. Hanzo wiped the blood from his mouth.

Hanzo: Shit!

Kimiko, now wrapped in a towel, burst out into the street and entered her fighting stance. It was an awkward style, she led with her dominant right hand and both hands were open in a knife edge manner. She leaped at Hanzo and swung around her back leg hoping to hit his face. He blocked pushing her leg away. He stuck with an open palm strike only pushing her over. He didn't want to hurt her.

Kimiko: It'll take a lot more than that to subdue me damn it!

Hanzo: Wait it was all a misunderstanding, I tried to tell you.

Kimiko: Hanzo!!! I Kirr You!

Hanzo ducked under a flurry of punches and side stepped a back fist. Her next attack was a paroxysm of kicks flying about, Hanzo tried to get out of the way with a back handspring but he caught a kick under the chin and went flying into a wall. The smoke cleared and Hanzo was standing hunched slightly with a smirk on his face.

Hanzo: Well it would seem that I don't have to go easy on you.

Just as Hanzo prepared to lunge Kakashi appeared behind him, grabbing him by the collar.

Kakashi: I think that's enough for one day. (Looking at Hanzo) Don't you?

The struggling Hanzo ceased and fell limp.

Kakashi: Sorry Kimiko, a lot of people mistake Hanzo for a girl. It's not his fault he's so pretty.

Kakashi's tone mocked the lad, but Hanzo did nothing he only peered up from beneath his darkened brow.

Kakashi: Oh well, looks like you'll have to hook another girl Kimiko.

Hanzo looked back up at Kakashi in surprise.

Hanzo: Kakashi-sensei, you mean she's…

Kimiko: That's right, I don't like men!

Hanzo's eyes widened and he blushed. Kakashi nodded

Kakashi: Well I think it's time everybody went home, and we all forgot this even happened. Once the bath house is fixed up everything will be okay.

Kimiko's expression lightened as her anger subsided. She stood up straight as she no longer needed to be in her stance. Soon she smiled.

Kimiko: Well, either way it was ice to meet you Hanzo-chan. It sure was an eventful day.

She sauntered of in the direction of the village. Hanzo stared stupidly at her as she walked away. Kakashi let him down.

Hanzo: Wait just a minute; didn't she just want to "kirr" me a second ago? Does she have Alzheimer's or something?

Kakashi: That girl has "Nice Tourette's". Once she calms down she's as pleasant as ever.

Hanzo: What a weird girl.

A lecherous look came over Kakashi's face.

Kakashi: So tell me did you see anything good?

Hanzo looked like a cherry. He was very embarrassed, he saw every thing. Even a rube would have noticed he was a boy when she did.

Hanzo: Uh, well I don't see how that's any of your business.

Kakashi: I see, so you did see something. Anyway, you should go to Naruto… I mean the Rokudaime's office. I'll see you there.

Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke. Hanzo stood there for a moment dumbfounded, then sighed as he lowered his head.

Hanzo: This day has proven to be… most tiring.

Hanzo walked into the office of the Hokage. Naruto sat behind his desk and Kakashi stood there with Kotaro by his side. When Kotaro noticed Hanzo he immediately responded.

Kotaro: Hanzo-chan! We've been given a mission!

Hanzo: We're inside and I'm not more than ten feet from you. You needn't shout at me Kotaro-kun. Wait! Did you just call me chan?!

Kotaro: Kakashi just told us the great story about you and Kimiko at the bath house! Classic! Hahaha!

Naruto: That aside Hanzo-chan there is a mission I would like your team to execute for me. It is simple yet requires a delicate touch.

Hanzo: Well I suppose it would be alright, I am in the service of this village for the time I'll be staying here so what right have I to refuse. This mission will advance my training in some way I trust?

Naruto: It's a routine mission; you'll be delivering a message for me to the Mizukage, leader of the Hidden Mist Village. However, I've come to learn that routine missions always go terribly wrong, so I'm sending a team that can finish the mission quickly and deal with any trouble that may come their way.

Hanzo: Hm… Only the three of us are going, correct?

A sly look came over Naruto's face, his smile reached from ear to ear.

Naruto: I was only going to assign the three of you, but if there is someone else who comes to mind…

Hanzo's cheeks turned pink. He lowered his head and averted his eyes remembering the events of the afternoon.

Naruto: Have you thought of someone Hanzo?

He snapped out of his reverie and shook his head wildly.

Hanzo: No, I think that the three of us will be sufficient.

Naruto: Are you sure Hanzo-chan? It seems that Inuzuka Kimiko is free to join you all. Her team won't have any assignments while this mission is underway.

Hanzo could tell that he was being teased, but he would not let the Hokage get the best of him. Besides, the Rokudaime was showing great hospitality by letting an outsider stay within Konoha to train for a year. Naruto ceased his teasing when he saw it wasn't going anywhere. He dismissed the squad telling them that the mission would begin tomorrow, and until then they should get some rest, singling out Hanzo in particular.

Kakashi caught up to Hanzo on the main road as he was heading home.

Kakashi: Sorry about Naruto, I should've known that he would take it so far. He never has known when to stop.

Hanzo: That's alright; I'm not so embarrassed anymore.

This was clearly a lie. He was just hit on by a girl who thought he was one as well and then saw her naked. He was far beyond embarrassed.

Hanzo: Besides, the Hokage has been kind enough to let me stay here for a year to train with you and become stronger. I'm an outsider. He must have tremendous faith in the alliance or he's a fool. I'm not really sure which it is at this point, it could go either way.

Kakashi put his hand on Hanzo's shoulder and looked him in the eye.

Kakashi: Well don't let it keep you up all night we have to leave tomorrow morning and we can't have you sleeping in. Especially on a mission that is a direct request from the Hokage. Hanzo shrugged treating the situation rather nonchalantly.

Hanzo: I s'pose Kakashi-sensei.

Kakashi: It's funny to hear an Uchiha call me that, you father wasn't much for formalities at this age. He never used an honorific after my name.

Hanzo: He always tells me that a son of the Otokage should act like one and that I should carry myself well and speak with respect.

Kakashi: That doesn't sound like Sasuke at all!

Hanzo: I think that one day it just hit him. One can't spend their entire lives mad at the world. Not that he didn't have a good reason though.

Kakashi: I was similar when I was young, certain people in one's life change them for the better, Sasuke had many though he didn't always know it.

With that Kakashi left the young Nin to his thoughts.

To Be Continued…

I hope you enjoyed it! As previously discussed please review my work. Arigato!


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